Disclaimer: You might find some things uncomfortable but read anyway… Much love.
Being single can be really tiring, very tiring actually. And impatience is a very common trait with singleness and the popular question, “God when?”. Let me quickly state that a boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn’t fall from the sky while you stay indoors all day. Now you’d say, “I go out, I meet people. Why am I still single?” Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t the right time. While waiting on the “right time”, there are some things we need to realise, especially as Christians. I’ll be listing five of them.
Five Things We Need To Know While Single:
First and foremost, I’d like to state that you’re still single unless you’re married.
Well, it’s very true because you haven’t come to be one with this man/woman you’re in a relationship with, you can still leave when things go south but once you’re married, youre stuck! You’re going nowhere, boo. So let’s head on to the more important details…
- PLACE: Wherever you are at the moment, whether you like it or not, is not a mistake. You are in your present location to be built up, to grow. Growth and comfort are like oil and water, they can never mix, I’ve repeatedly mentioned this. If you’re uncomfortable in a place, it is a place for growth. Wherever you’re placed, you should embrace purpose. This leads to the second point.
- PURPOSE: What is your purpose? If you’re a Christian and you’ve been wondering what it is, let me let you know. Our purpose as Christians is to know God and make Him known. Our talents (acting, singing, dancing, writing) are all means of acting out our purpose.
- PROVISION: Third on the list is provision. When God has plans for you, He’ll surely provide. There will always be provision for the work He has called us to do here on Earth, He would never leave or forsake us. There is always provision for the believer, even though it might not look at it sometimes.
- IDENTITY: Do you know your “adenini”? Loool. As Christians, let me state that our identity is found in Christ Jesus. We have been redeemed by Him and we are His children. Hallelujah! God created man and woman in His own image and likeness (Gen. 1:26) and we are whole and complete in Christ (2 Peter 1:3). God has called us and given us a name, why do we often want to be called something else? He has called us His children, He has called us light, let’s shine!
- PARAMETERS: Last but definitely not the least, parameters; limitations. In the book of Genesis, God told Adam he could eat of all the trees except one. For sure, there were a lot of trees but God set boundaries, like “Boy, you can eat of alllll those other ones but this one? Nah, do not touch this.” Like any parent, God set boundaries for Adam, likewise us, so we don’t do what we aren’t supposed to do. Why? He knows the harm it could cause so he warns us before hand. I’m sure you can relate to this, when the Holy Spirit warns you ahead of something, you either choose to obey/disobey and both have their consequences. In relationships, we must set boundaries. People should know what you can tolerate and what you can’t. If you do not set standards before a relationship, that relationship would set standards for you. You might be like, “I’m not under the law, these things don’t matter.” Well, they do.
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me but not all things edify.2 Corinthians 10:23
It isn't just about what feels good, as Christians, It's about what is good. -Anesi Igebu. Click To Tweet
It isn’t just about what feels good, as Christians, it’s about what is actually good.Anesi Igebu.
The real power of living a Christian life is knowing that YOU CAN but DON’T HAVE TO. The Bible says that two are better than one at everything. But we should also know this involves even messing up. Two halves do not make a whole in a relationship, the purpose of a relationship isn’t so they would complete you, a Christian is already made whole in Christ. The Bible lets us know that two become one, not halves becoming one. Getting into a relationship to feel “complete” is a wrong motive.
How Do I Know I’m Ready?
First of all, just because you’re tired of being single does not automatically qualify you for being in a relationship. I preach to myself when I say this, even 5 years isn’t so bad. When the time is right, the husband/wife will come along. You are ready to be in a relationship when the above 5 points are fully functional for you but this doesn’t automatically bring who you want. Know this, God doesn’t choose for you, He chooses with you.
Let’s look at it this way, if God didn’t impose salvation on you, but made it a choice for you, “whosoever”, why would He impose a spouse on you? #ThinkAboutIt. Except in some cases, like that of Hosea where He had him marry a prostitute but asides that, I hardly see God choosing a spouse for anyone. Secondly, you can reach purpose without being married, marriage is NOT the ultimate goal in life and should not be treated as such. You shouldn’t feel you have to get married before doing what God has called you to do. Jesus wasn’t married, neither was Paul, the apostle.
Another thing to note is this, if you want certain characteristics in a person, have those first. You want a gentle man? Be gentle. You want a clean wife? Be clean. You want someone with a six-pack? Hit the gym.
When looking to date someone, don’t just go for the container but make sure the content is great. A good container certainly attracts but the content is basically what’s more important. Remember, it is okay to be single but it isn’t okay to be alone. When born again, we were born into a body, the church, not to be alone. No man island. Before I go, I’d love for you to answer this question:
If someone knew you the way you know yourself, would they want to be with you?
You can decide to answer that in the comment box or answer it to yourself. I’ll be writng the second part of this soon, titled Friday 7 PM: On Christian Dating. Till then, keep living for Christ, I love you and God is crazy in love with you. Shalom.